A few days back I was listening to Jay Shetty’s podcast “On Purpose” and I loved the fact the way he mentioned this topic and the way he spoke about it. He was speaking about “Negative People and How to Deal with them.” It was so beautifully explained that I kept on hearing him and I could resonate with him. So, this made me do a post on “Negative People and How to Deal with Negative People” and what do I do to deal with such negative people in my daily life.
Now, we all have people with whom we talk daily or they’re connected to us but are an absolute headache talking to. You know that if you bump into them, they’re going crib about themselves and never listen to your life or to your words or barely give it an ear. They could be our friends, maybe our relatives, boyfriend, girlfriend, or probably someone at work.
The worst part about it is they never want a solution; they cry about their problems and bump their problems onto you and do not listen to your advice.
They’re the kinda people who throw out negativity and can even make you negative as a person. You know, we all are surrounded by Negative people and the worst part is that we’re never taught how to deal with them.
You know its very easy to say just distance yourself from that person or just discard negativity or solve their problem, but is it worth doing that? In the quest of solving their problems, you’re carrying a baggage onto yourself and the main question you gotta ask is “Are they worth it?” They could just end up forgetting after a day while you worked endless for them.
So, if you don’t effectively deal with it, you’re in for a bigger problem. Yes, I mean it!
This was the best thing that Jay mentioned in his podcast that, “Your brain’s trying to protect you and the way it protects you is making you more like the people you’re around so that it doesn’t have to deal with conflicts, it doesn’t have to deal with the debate, so it doesn’t have to deal with the disagreement. Our brains constantly trying to move away from that and towards cohesion. So that means you’re becoming cohesive in negativity. So that means you start collaborating with negativity, that means you start creating negativity yourself, its as contagious as cold”
The same goes with positive or negative people. If you surround yourself around negative people, you’ll see the world in a negative way. The best way to not let them grow is to constantly keeping ourselves in check and questioning our beliefs, questioning our values and not questioning them in a debating way but questioning them in a way to refine them, renew enthusiasm around them.
Let me tell you this that Negativity isn’t a person but it’s a trait. Remember that a person cannot be labelled as a complete negative person, at times he’s just clouded by negativity. It’s like how you cover your eyes by sunglasses on a bright day, the positive energy within you is at times covered and buried down by negativity.
I feel, the following are the ways I do to deal around with negative people.
How to Deal with Negative People? Never Give a Complete Ear:
There are those types of negative people who barely care about you and always see themselves as a victim and keep complaining about it. always expressing their hopelessness to situations, never looking for a solution. Someone who just wants to talk about their life, their struggles and barely keep a check on you. You might resonate to what I am talking to as you might have these kinda people in your life as well. It’s their energy which is so negative that they just want to cry. So, in situations and with people as such I barely listen to them and just try to distance myself as they’ll never listen to your advice and keep ranting about how the world is against them.
This is what Jay Shetty follows and Preaches as well: The Tribe of Positivity.
You know you cannot avoid negativity; it will come and just play its part. Also, you cannot distance yourself from everyone who’s negative and just let go everyone. If you can do it with some of them, DO IT! if you cannot do that then always have a tribe or group of friends who are always positive or maybe to better phrase ‘realistic.’ Now, there are those kinda people who just want you to climb the 7th cloud but then even they’re negative as they’re not real. Having a group of realistic guys or maybe one or two makes you really feel good about yourself. Just imagine, having the most depressing conversation with a person full of negativity and then talking to your ‘realistic’ pal/pals, you completely feel good about yourself and it also evokes a new profound strength to fight your inner negativity and pushes you to grow.
How to Deal with Negative People: Reduce Instead of Remove
If you cannot remove negativity reduce it. By reducing I mean, just start giving them less time so that you do not have to deal with the complete negativity. A positive energy always doesn’t shift your mind from the negativity, so reducing time with a negative person and giving that time to the positive person will shift your focus and dissect the negativity from that person to the positivity that the other person possesses.
Just make sure that you give correct time to those who’re meant to be and do not end up giving almost all the time to the ones who’re negative.
Not Actively becoming a Solver ALWAYS:
This the best way to deal with negative people, I feel. I get drained by not listening but at times by always becoming a problem solver. I’ve understood that you’re not THE GUY always to solve their problems. Do not carry the baggage of negativity of those people who do not live up to you. What makes it tough is that we put energy and advice into the other person and then the person doesn’t live up to our expectations so instead do not waste your time and energy. Not actively getting involved with such kinda people is the way I deal with the negativity.
Remember, that we all go through the negativity at some point of time in our lives and so I have as well. Its just we get over it and get ourselves going whereas some don’t. I hope you now identify the negative energy and practice the ways to deal with negative energy.